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Marcela Onyango
Marcela Onyango

189 Followers

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Published in

Feel The News

·Jan 19, 2022

Being a loser under capitalism is actually good

The following is my definition of loser under capitalism. los·er | /ˈlo͞ozər/| noun A person whose goals don’t align with capitalists’ goals. This is why being a loser under capitalism is actually good Since we are children we are taught that the worst thing we can be is a loser…

Anti Capitalism

3 min read

Being a loser under capitalism is actually good
Being a loser under capitalism is actually good
Anti Capitalism

3 min read


Published in

Feel The News

·Nov 14, 2021

Newsletter 11/14/21: World Leaders will not stop climate change

Let’s talk about news that made me angry, sad, and glad. News that made me angry Fossil fuel companies had the largest delegation at the COP26 than any country proving that the United Nations Climate Change Conference is just like any other work conference, an excuse for everyone to get…

Newsletter

3 min read

Newsletter 11/14/21: World Leaders will not stop climate change
Newsletter 11/14/21: World Leaders will not stop climate change
Newsletter

3 min read


Published in

Feel The News

·Sep 21, 2021

Is it Patriotism or the WWE (World Wrestling Entertainment)

Fans get irrationally angry when you attack it

Humor

1 min read

Is it Patriotism or the WWE (World Wrestling Entertainment)
Is it Patriotism or the WWE (World Wrestling Entertainment)
Humor

1 min read


Jul 4, 2021

The American Revolution or Mean Girls the Movie

1. Rebellion against a monarch named George 2. Started by the rich elite who wanted to topple the monarchy and become the new ruling class 3. Some of the rebels become the ruling the class and forgot about their compatriots 4. The elites of the revolution directed the peasantry’s anger…

Mean Girls

1 min read

The American Revolution or Mean Girls the Movie
The American Revolution or Mean Girls the Movie
Mean Girls

1 min read


Published in

Feel The News

·Mar 29, 2021

Rich People Don’t Pay Taxes

The News IRS researchers found that the top 1% don’t report 21% of their income to avoid taxes. How should you feel about this news? Not surprised. Rich people are able to get away with tax evasion because capitalism is neo-feudalism and as you know only poor people work and…

3 min read

Rich People Don’t Pay Taxes
Rich People Don’t Pay Taxes

3 min read


Published in

Feel The News

·Dec 15, 2020

NYPD Falsely Arrest Black and Brown People for Overtime Cash

According to Propublica, NYPD police who police the sex trade have been falsely arresting black and brown people to make more money from overtime, proving the NYPD’s real motto is will make arrests for cash. How should you feel about this news? You should feel like the police should be…

Comedy

1 min read

NYPD Falsely Arrest Black and Brown People for Overtime Cash
NYPD Falsely Arrest Black and Brown People for Overtime Cash
Comedy

1 min read


Published in

Slackjaw

·Nov 11, 2020

I’m Resigning From My Role As Your iPhone Because I Want To Be A Filmmaker, Not A Family Group Chat Coordinator

Dear Kara, I’ve always wanted to be a filmmaker. So I was very excited when you told the recruiter in the blue shirt you needed an iPhone that could capture beautiful footage. I’d heard terrible rumors of some of my peers with the same ambition being used solely as Instagram…

Satire

3 min read

I’m Resigning From My Role As Your iPhone Because I Want To Be A Filmmaker, Not A Family Group Chat…
I’m Resigning From My Role As Your iPhone Because I Want To Be A Filmmaker, Not A Family Group Chat…
Satire

3 min read


Published in

Slackjaw

·Sep 19, 2020

Coffee And Wine Stains Are 2020’s Unexpected Popular Trend

Let me be clear: Coffee and wine stains are by no means a new trend. I, for one, have been wearing coffee dapples on all my white Oxford shirts since the beginning of my professional career. Yes, I received questioning looks from coworkers, but nevertheless, I stuck to my beloved…

Humor

3 min read

Coffee And Wine Stains Are 2020’s Unexpected Popular Trend
Coffee And Wine Stains Are 2020’s Unexpected Popular Trend
Humor

3 min read


Published in

Slackjaw

·Sep 16, 2020

I Joined The Revolution For The Cute Outfits And Now I Have Tear Gas In My Eyes

Hey all, thanks for joining my IG Live. Today is going to be a little different than my usual videos. Instead of walking you through my favorite outfits of the week, we’ll be experiencing my first day of being a revolutionary together. I’ll be showing you what a protest looks…

Humor

3 min read

I Joined The Revolution For The Cute Outfits And Now I Have Tear Gas In My Eyes
I Joined The Revolution For The Cute Outfits And Now I Have Tear Gas In My Eyes
Humor

3 min read


Published in

The Haven

·Aug 15, 2020

Ending My Amazon Prime Subscription Killed Me: Don’t Make the Same Mistake

I’m writing this from purgatory; it seems one needs an Amazon Prime membership for acceptance into Heaven or Hell. I recklessly cancelled my Amazon Prime as an act of resistance without knowledge that human bodies have evolved to depend on two-day shipping and it cost me my life. Of course…

Humor

2 min read

Ending My Amazon Prime Subscription Killed Me: Don’t Make the Same Mistake
Ending My Amazon Prime Subscription Killed Me: Don’t Make the Same Mistake
Humor

2 min read

Marcela Onyango

Marcela Onyango

189 Followers

stand-up comedian, writer http://marcelaonyango.com/

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